• Rajan

We speak more of our problems than joys, Let's break the Habit

'Hope of Success and not Fear of Failure' is what my instructor told me once. Seems like any other motivational quote, isn't it ? But wait, spare a few minutes and think over it. It has a deeper connotation embedded in it. when we are heading towards the exam hall, for instance, what is the regular thought that we all share? FEAR, right ? (few of us start practicing it the day, exams are declared). We think and beseech to the almighty (even if we don't believe in one, a pure atheist is a myth) that xyz ques shouldn't figure out in exam or what if this theorem is asked for 10 marks, what if the MCQs are tough (wonder ques might be straight away from NASA lab) and so on. In this quest, We are inadvertently thinking of what all can go WRONG. Can we figure out that we are afraid of the things we don't know. Hence we are continuously gripped in our fear of failure. That fear, which has no roots. An irony about fear is that it is mostly irrational. Suppose that xyz theorem which we are afraid of, figures out in exam. Now what ? Can we do anything about it. The response is plain and effortless- NO. It turns out that We have been fearing for something that is beyond our control. We can't do anything about it. We shattered our energy thinking about something which is beyond our scope of control. Irrational, isn't it? We came prepared with trepidation of failure. We came worrying that something might go wrong. What if I go with a hope of success (can't digest !) What if everything appears in the question paper as what I have studied (miracle). Even if not, is there any harm in thinking so. What if everything turns out as I have anticipated. Now you can relate why these words have a clout within them. This was an illustration of how we are succumbed to the habit of being overwhelmed by our problems rather than enjoying what is excellent out there. Yes, it is a HABIT, much like our other routines, we have inculcated it. We talk of our illness, our financial burdens, our unbearable neighbor, the corrupt politicians, the weak economy, the greedy businessmen, and whatever problematic and bad we can find (our idiocy and imagination has no limits). We have found an evil or a bad thing at all levels and stages- from individual level to the cosmic level and beyond (educated fools we are). Some of us have even been obsessed with it. Hilarious ! Our newspapers are filled with the wrong happenings in and around the world. News channels always show us how bad the things are. But wait a minute, is it so ? Probably not. Probably it's because we are more engrossed in talking about the quandary and less of the ecstasy. Ask yourself, how many times in a day, do you talk of the glee in your life. It can be anything ranging from a hot bed tea to a jaguar depending upon which tax bracket you are in. The food that was tasty , the call that you were expecting from your loved one, the heavenly smile of your kiddo, the warm touch of your better half, the shine your ageing father bears on his forehead because he is proud of you..... the list is endless, if you start thinking. It is similar for our tribulations. The only control that we have is a choice to be made. Make sure, you chose the right one. Not talking of problems will not eliminate them. However, the proposal is to make the ratio 30:70 (problem: joy) rather than making it other way round. There is a lot good happening around us but we are not sentient of it or probably not paying too much heed to it. Start noticing the happiness and spread it. To spread the problems, we have a billion people on earth (and compounding hourly !). The news channel reported of hoarding by shops amidst the lock-down BUT there was a guy sharing his food with the laborers. The news says, prices had been up scaled BUT there is a local vendor selling vegetables at lesser price and even free to the poor. You are alive, isn't it the best that can happen ever ! Isn't too much of goodness and joy around us. Be a part of it, rather than distributing stress.

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